The reason why I'm so awesome comes from the fact that I have self confidence...alot of it. My self confidence comes from knowing myself. And my knowledge of self comes from learning from mistakes, trials, and tribulations. I always walk away from something (especially relationships) having learned something to make the next one (and/or myself) better. And thats where the last one comes in.
I can't think of a damn thing that I learned from mine and Alfred's relationship. Is that a bad thing? Grant it, what I learned from my relationship with Kevin, took me about a month to figure out. However, that relationship was much longer, and much further along (read: engaged) My lesson there was to stop going after people that I need to nurture and wont nurture back. What did I learn from Will? Don't date someone that's still wrapped up in a past relationship. My ex husband taught me that boys don't change. There were a few other relationships sprinkled in there, but those were the major ones.
I guess the problem is that until that "weird" couple of days...(I thought) everything was AWESOME! Well...maybe not with the caps..but I was a very happy girl. I, along with everyone else, was just shocked. "He did what?!" <--- I got that more than a few times so far. I trusted my gut...he wasn't a "bad" guy (I still believe that), he treated me well, my only complaint was that he didn't call me enough. I always felt like I had to set up the dates or we'd only have one a week lol...but I attribute alot of that to my need to be in control.
Maybe that's it? Small (read:short) relationship, small lesson? Next time...make sure I'm with a guy who calls?
Ok, one who makes me feel needed in his life. Yea, maybe thats it.
Damn...I really feel like I'm reaching here.
I guess
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