So, in all of my awesomeness, I still have a love for lame things. Case in point, I have google analytics set up for my blog. It makes me happy...it's not something THAT unexpected of me..right? So anyways..I have google analytics, and ever since Erik and I broke up..blog traffic has been at an all time high! So obviously, you want to know what happened. So obviously, I have to tell you.
We'll have to start with a bit of back story. When Erik and I started hanging out..he was already dating someone. I didn't like her, he didn't really like her..it was just something that happened. I'm not trying to delve into too many details here so before you go tell me that was already a bad sign..blah..just trust me..lol it wasn't. So when we started dating, where I usually would have said he needed some single time..I kinda figured that he didn't really need it after a 2 or 3wk long relationship.
Anyways, I wound up getting Erik (yay!), and things were pretty good. Well, except for the fact that he had this annoying way of having "only child syndrome" without actually being an only child. Plans would constantly change without much input from me. If I wanted to do something, we'd plan to do it...and then for one reason or another we'd ALWAYS (and I really mean ALWAYS) end up doing something Erik wanted to do. This went on for a while..we both recognized it, in fact, it was actually a joke between us..even though it was causing fights. So we'd fight..well, more like have "talks". Neither one of us is the type to yell and fight..we'd just sit and talk. I also found out that before getting with the last ex, there was also a 2yr relationship he had, with not much time between. Well, after a while, things were good. Actually, they were going great. If an issue came up, we dealt with it, and moved on. We were spending a lot of time together..I was happy, he seemed happy..it was good.
Well, a couple weekends ago, we were spending the weekend in Orange County with Kyle. Erik wanted to stay up and play video games all night with Kyle, I was fine with that..but something was bugging me. We all know I have no patience, and I will always say whats on my mind. So I did. I asked him if he thought he had enough single time between all the relationships he'd been in over the last 3 yrs. He was honest (always is) and said probably not, but he was happy with us, and didn't want us to end. We could work on this. Ok, I can handle that.
And then last Wednesday night came. It was a good, normal night for us. A few outside stresses, but once we had dinner made, we watched Glee for a few hours and had a great time. Then we went to bed, nothing out of the ordinary. Then Erik brought up the conversation we'd had at Kyle's. He wasn't trying to fight, honestly, he just wanted to know why I had asked him that. Well the conversation went down from there. It eventually lead to him saying that all of the times he was having "only child syndrome" was actually him trying to have "single time". Not as in, dating other girls, but the selfish time we all are allowed when we are single. He said he really needed it, and should have taken it and now didn't know what to do. Me being who I am, I know that difficult decisions suck. They're hard, they hurt, and can take a long time to get over...but..they have to be made. So after talking for a while I asked him if he needed me to stay, if this was something we could work on together...or if it was just going to get worse and I should give him space. He chose space.
I'm happy for him. He's getting what he needs and when you love someone..sometimes just seeing them succeed can make you happy enough. However, that doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt like hell. I'm still on that, "Cry at the drop of a hat" phase, and I'm starting to realize just how lonely California can really be. But, I'll be ok. I always am. I always succeed. I always come out a winner. Right now, the ideal situation for both of us is to give Erik his space, and hopefully get back together when this is over. That very well could change, life has no guarantees..but I'm willing to give it a shot.
Luckily, I came out of this with some great friends, and a new perspective. Life's challenges have always been great to me. Karma and I have a great rapport. Every time something not so great happens, I'm always blessed in return. It's just these first few steps out into the world that are a little slippery.
No, not slippery from blood. Go check. Erik is still alive. Geeze..I'm not a murderer...
